


What We Have Is Failure To Communitcate

by DeadlyKittenKay (PrettyBlueIz), Knowmefirst



Series: Word Wars with Knowmefirst [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Started as a Joke, Will add more tags as it goes on, Word Wars, domestic!Destiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 15:13:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10573911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyBlueIz/pseuds/DeadlyKittenKay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knowmefirst/pseuds/Knowmefirst
Summary: Imagine: Cas telling Dean that he wants a divorce as he pulls out the papers from inside his briefcase. He tries to give them to Dean, but when Dean refuses to take them he puts them on the coffee table.





	1. As The World Falls Down

**Author's Note:**

> So to give you so back story, Knowmefirst is known among the fandom (on Facebook) as the queen of angst. And she really is. We challenge each other all the time and when [this](https://49.media.tumblr.com/92d2ac7886a3ba43a7ff3777cf944f6b/tumblr_o59580Uzjd1tiiumto3_540.gif) gif was posted in one of our mutual groups, she commented with: 
> 
> Imagine: Cas telling Dean that he wants a divorce as he pulls out the papers from inside his briefcase. He tries to give them to Dean, but when Dean refuses to take them he puts them on the coffee table.
> 
> An naturally I can't have that. So prepare for randomness and angst and me attempting to get Dean and Cas their happy ever after.
> 
> Keep in mind that these were originally written as comments in Facebook so they might be short and sweet. I'm gonna try to write them longer now that we're transferring to Ao3

Nope. Nope. Nope. This was absolute bullshit. Dean knew it. Cas knew it.  
  
"What are you doing _Castiel_?"  
  
Cas sighs sadly. "It's over Dean. I'm done fighting for something that was never going to happen. Sam looked it over and said that the sooner you sign it, the better. Since we don't have kids or any real assets, the precedings should be quick and he had a colleague..."  
  
Dean cuts him off by ripping the papers in half. "Not happening. I don't know what the hell happened to make you think you can just end things like i was some drunken one night stand, but I'm not giving up on us."

**~♫♪♫~**

That night was the first time in the three years since they first met, they slept alone. Dean had opted to sleep in the spare bedroom, giving Castiel space he thought he wanted.  
  
Castiel had slept like shit. In their short time together, he had gotten accustomed to Dean strong arms holding him - a silent vow to protect him - the feel of feather light kisses along the back of his neck and shoulders in the middle of the night - whispered promises of love and devotion. Most of all, the queen sized bed seemed so much colder and bigger without Dean's presence.  
  
Grumbling as he shuffled his way to the bathroom, releasing his bladder and riding himself of his morning breath and, he made his way down the hall. Instantly Castiel's senses were hit with the smells of coffee and sausage. He followed the sirens call of Caffeine and breakfast. Dean looked up from where he set a plate on the table where Castiel usually seats. His favorite coffee mug - a white mug Dean had found that said _BE YOU_ rself, two messages that he needed to hear at his lowest - steaming, waiting for him.  
  
"I put a splash of that Italian creamer you like in it. Not to much since its the French vanilla roast you like," Dean explained with a small smile. "And while breakfast looks like burgers, it's not. It's just silver dollars with sausages stuffed in between."  
  
Castiel kissed his cheek. "Thank you Dean." His lips tingled from the contact. He craved more. He needed more. But he kept quiet.

**~♫♪♫~**

Breakfast was... Interesting. Normally Saturday breakfasts consisted of hurried kisses between sips of coffee as Dean rushed out the door to work. He was almost always late on Saturdays. Castiel smiles a little at his thoughts. It's been far too long since they had made each other later for work.  
  
Dean was staying home today. He had told Castiel he wanted to spend time with his husband but Castiel could see that he was scared to come home to find him gone. Dean had suggested the go to the local farmer's market to pick up the honey Castiel likes. The suggestion made Castiel scoff and decline. He knew his husband hated him spending money on such things.  
  
Of course Castiel's reaction sets Dean off. Dean's not mad, but the hurt is evident in his eyes.  
  
"It was just a suggestion, Cas. I just want to spend time with you."  
  
"I'm still here, Dean. At least until one if the apartment buildings get back to me with an approval."  
  
"Wait, you've been looking this while time?" Dean's voice rises in shock. "You only just gave me the papers yesterday. How long have you wanted out?"  
  
Castiel sighs and sits on the edge of the bed. He had been putting laundry away when Dean started the conversation. He folds and refolds Dean's favorite red button down, trying to put his answer in away that would not upset Dean.  
  
"Honestly?"  
  
_Crap,_ Castiel thinks as Dean's jaw flexes, no doubt holding back his comment.  
  
"My original intent was to find something bigger. Prospects for our future. But when i realized we want two different things for our future, i honestly didn't think there was much of a future."  
  
"We want different things? I thought we both in agreement here Cas. You and me, till death do us part."  
  
"I want more Dean. And you know it. You made it perfectly clear when you refused to look at the paper work i brought home, that you didn't want that."  
  
"Why do you think I've been working so late, Cas? All this extra jobs on the side? I wanted to get more into savings before we took that step."  
  
Castiel looked up at Dean again. His husband hadn't moved from his spot against the dresser. His posture had moved from defensive to defeated.  
  
"Do you still love me, Cas?"  
  
"Of course." Castiel's voice broke as the sting of tears burned his eyes. "I've loved you since the first day we meet."  
  
"But not enough to talk to me before deciding to leave."  
  
"Dean, that's not..." Castiel's mouth snaps shut when Dean his his hand to stop him.  
  
"No, Cas. You want to assume you know what I'm thinking. What i want. You can tell _my brother_  you want a divorce before telling me. I know i didn't get the world's perfect example of marriage and love. But I do know that if you love someone as much as you claim, then you fucking talk to them before you destroy the only sense of stability they had." Dean pushed himself away from the dresser and left the room.  
  
The tears had started to fall from Castiel's eyes before Dean had left the room and when the front door slammed behind him, a sob ripped through Castiel's chest. He laid himself down hugging Dean's pillow and shirt tight to his chest.  
  
Dean was right. Castiel didn't try hard enough. He didn't fight for the future he wanted. The future he dreamt of with Dean. Instead he let his own insecurities take over and now he felt as if he just lost the best thing that has ever happened to him.

**~♫♪♫~**

Dean burst into Sam's apartment. He had a key so he didn't bother knocking. He was pissed at his baby brother.  
  
"You're an asshole!" Dean shouted from the living room.  
  
"Woah, no Bitch?" Sam's voice carried down the hall.  
  
Dean followed it until he standing outside what he knew to be his bedroom. "Why are you help him leave me? I thought you wanted me happy, Sammy?"  
  
"Of course i want you happy, Dean." he said through the closed door. "I also want Castiel to be happy and not scared over by a sick head lawyer." Sam finally opened the door barely squeezing through the opening, indicating that he was alone.  
  
"As I interrupting something?"  
  
Sam shook his head. "Eileen is still sleeping."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Both men went to the kitchen where Sam started the coffee. Dean made himself comfortable at the small table Sam, fiddling with the salt shaker.  
  
"Why don't you just tell him you don't want kids?" Sam asked.  
  
"I do want kids, Sammy. But i want kids that are ours. I get that there's thousands of kids that need a home. But i want a little girl with his eyes and a little boy with his smile." Dean explained a small smile on his lips imagining a little mini Castiel but with Dean's light brown hair and freckled face. "Just imagine a mini Cas. How could i not want that?"  
  
"Have you told him that?" Sam asked set a cup of coffee in front of Dean.  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I'm not ready."  
  
Sam groaned and sat down next to his big brother. White he may not literally look up to Dean, he still did figuratively. When their dad was on bender after bender. Dean was the one to play mom and dad and big brother all in one. But this inability to talk about his feelings, was a trait Sam loathed.  
  
"You're gonna lose him over something stupid cause you won't talk to him. I get your freaked out. Our history with parents blow. You guys are still technically newly weds. But Dean, trust me, you are going to make any kid happy with how awesome kid a dad you are."  
  
"He probably gone by now. I wasn't gonna leave him but i was so hurt that he talked to you. And that he already looked into a new place."  
  
Sam nodded and chewed his cheek as an idea formed in his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sam has a plan that hopefully make his brother get his head out of his ass.

Castiel had cried himself to sleep and awoke to a text notification. Reluctantly he pulled himself up, Dean's pillow still firmly in his arms, as he reached for the small device.

He had received a text message from Sam regarding Dean and the situation.

 

Castiel sighed and tossed his phone to the side. He was telling Sam the truth. He did love Dean. He would always love Dean but he wanted more with him. He wanted a family. Children to chase in the yard, bedtime stories, homework. Even fights over chores. Castiel thought that maybe he could wait it out. Maybe Dean just needed time. 

Castiel pulled himself off the bed, sliding his shoes on and grabbing his keys. He didn't care if he looked like a hobo in the sweat pants and tattered band tee. A sign of just how despondent he is over this whole situation.

**~♫♪♫~**

The drive to Sam's was quick. Castiel wasn't surprised to see Dean's Baby in the parking lot. Sam was the only person Dean really had in California. In all honesty had it not been for Sam, he and Dean may have never met. Who would have thought a random trip to the bar would lead Castiel to find the love of his life.

Unlike Dean, Castiel knocked and waited for the door to open. A petite brunette and wide smile greeted him.  _Hello, Castiel_ , Eileen greeted, motioning for him to come in.

_Thank you,_ Castiel signed to Eileen, then gently tapped her arm. "I'm sorry to bring you and Sam into this."

She just shook her head. "We're family," she said softly while signing. Then gave his a sad smile.

"Are they in the living room?" he asked.

_Kitchen,_  she signed. 

He nodded and said thank you again before going in that direction.

"Why aren't you ready, Dean?"

"I'm just not, Sam."

"Why not, Dean? You nearly jumped at the chance when Lisa was pregnant."

"Is it because we have to get a surrogate?" Castiel asked softly. 

"What? No. Of course not, Cas. I'm not that much of an asshole."

Sam glared at Dean before making his way to Cas. He gave him a hug, complete with a pat on the back. "Just talk to him. Don't let him clam up. Eileen and I will in the living room."

"Thank you."

"Talk to him, Dean." Sam called over his shoulder. 

Castiel leans his shoulder into the door frame, his arms folded over his chest as he watches Dean stare at his coffee mug. Neither man ready to go first. He wants to go to him, run his fingers through the short hair on back of Dean's head as he apologizes for breaking apart their family. 

But he doesn't move. 

Neither men move for what seems like hours. Dean lets out a heavy sigh and stands up. "Take a seat, Cas."

Castiel watches as Dean moves to the kitchen, grabbing a mug from one of the cupboards and putting the kettle on. Dean moves with such authority and grace that had always made Castiel awestruck. To watch him do something as mundane as preparing drinks, to something more complicated like that of his electrical work on a car. Each of Dean's movements are purposeful and Castiel would be a liar if he didn't think it was hot. Yes, even Dean Wichester can make the simple task of making a cup of tea, the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

Soon there was a cup of steaming tea sitting in front of him. Dean sits besides him, his knee jostling Castiel's a bit. A welcome feeling that he didn't realize he craved.

"I know you heard Sammy." Dean starts. "And it's not that I don't want kids, Cas."

"Obviously because you "jumped at the chance" with Lisa." Castiel even used finger quotes

"That's not how it was either, Cas. I told you about Lisa. I was young and I thought that's what I wanted then."

"And now?" Castiel is afraid of the answer.

"I want to have little Cas' running around calling me Daddy, Cas. More than anything, but," he pauses and takes a sip of his coffee before running his finger along the rim in a circular motion. "I'm scared, Cas. I'm not ready for it because a - we live in a small fucking apartment in the middle of the city. b - I would like to have just smidge more saved up." Dean looked up at him, he green eyes bright with unshed tears. "Mostly I'm scared though, Cas. What if I fuck him or her up?" he whispers.

"Oh Dean," his name was like a prayer on Castiel's lips. "You would be an  _amazing_ father. Look what you did with Sam. You stepped in when your dad failed you both. You gave up your childhood, to give Sam."

Tears start to fall from Dean's eyes now, "But you're still leaving me."

Castiel shook his head. "No, Dean. I'm still here. I can easily call Bela and let her know that I need to do the house search again.  _We_ can look together. We will find our family home. I just needed to know you wanted this too."

"I do, Cas. Jesus I do. More than anything."

Castiel pressed his forehead to Dean's, his thumbs brushing away Dean's tears. "And we'll have that and more. I promise. I love you."

Dean let out a watery laugh and pressed his lips softly against Castiel's in a chaste kiss. "Why does that still make me laugh?" he asked.

"Because you still don't believe good things happen to you."

"I love you, Cas."

The two men sat there exchanging soft apologies and kisses. Dean's heart was ready to burst knowing that Castiel was going to stay. That he still loved him, even if sometimes he can't talk about his feelings. While Castiel felt the warmth seep into his body, the chill he had had for weeks now, disappearing with each apology and brush of lips.

Meanwhile, Sam and Eileen sat in the living room, Sam filling her in on the bits of conversation he caught. She would beam up at him happy to have helped the two idiots talk.

_Why does he think he'll be a bad father?_ she asked Sam.

Sam shrugs,  _He blames himself for several things that happened growing up._

_But I think you turned out, okay._

Sam's eyebrow shot up in amusement.  _Just okay?_

Eileen smiled. "When do we tell them the other idea?" using her voice.

Sam smiled at his beautiful and amazing wife. "When they're ready. Not yet." 

 


End file.
